


Leave Out All the Rest

by Dearieforever



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:07:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23011465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dearieforever/pseuds/Dearieforever
Summary: A songfic.  Takes place early in the Wish Realm sequel I'm working on.  Weaver has grown close to Lucy, and as he plan to join Belle and Bae, he fears how he will be remembered.
Kudos: 2





	Leave Out All the Rest

For Dark Ones, sleep was optional. Often, it didn’t come at all. Rumple had seen that as part of the curse at times, and an advantage at others. That had usually depended on whether or not he needed to be awake to accomplish something, or if he was bored of endless time. These days, he slept every night that he could. He was glad to have the chance to dream. In dreams, he was with Belle and Bae again. If the dreams were especially good, Gideon was with them.  
Last night, it had not been a pleasant dream that came to him. It had been confusing, almost like a vision of the future. He’d had enough of those though to know the difference. No, this was only a dream, not a vision and not quite a nightmare.  
He wasn’t sure if he was dead in the dream, or only missing. The only thing he was sure of was that a woman- or was it a young girl?- had been looking for him. He knew she wasn’t Belle, but he wasn’t sure who she was. Alice? Lucy? Regina? Whoever it was, she had tried to have others help her look for him, but no one would.  
I dreamed I was missing.  
You were so scared.  
But no one would listen.  
Cause no one else cared.  
To be honest, the idea of his own death didn’t bother him. Then he would be with his wife and son again. He’d been trying to find a way to be rid of the curse so that he could die for a long time now. What bothered him was that not even Henry would care if he was gone. Henry had no memory now of Rumple being his grandfather. Even if he had, he wouldn’t have cared. Strangely, they’d been closer before they’d learned they were related.  
What kind of memory would Henry have of him when he did remember? Would he ever think of the hot dog Rumple had bought him in New York? Their talk about being able to see the future? Would he remember that his grandfather loved him enough to die for him? Or would he remember him as the Dark One, and nothing else?  
After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear.  
What am I leaving  
When I'm done here?  
“Detective Weaver?” Lucy asked. He’d been so lost in thought he hadn’t heard her knock at his apartment door, but he heard her calling for him. Even though she knew who he was, she was careful to not use his name in a hallway where someone might hear. He opened the door. She hugged him, and smiled up at him. That smile changed to a frown when she saw how troubled she looked. “Are you OK?”

So, if you're asking me, I want you to know…  
“I just didn’t sleep well last night,” he told her. It was close to the truth. He couldn’t tell her he was thinking of the day he would be able to move on but was afraid of the memories he would leave behind. Lucy had read the book. She knew his past and didn’t hold it against him. Her father did though. What if when she was older, the things he told her lead her to hate him too? And he’d come to care about Tilly too. In the end, he hadn’t passed his curse onto her, but would she think of how he’d almost done that, stealing her happiness? Which Rumplestiltskin would the world remember?  
When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done.  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.  
At least, he hoped that in working on the cure for Henry’s poison, he could leave some good memory of himself behind. Maybe Lucy would remember the ice cream outings and the times she’d watched movies with him. Surprisingly, although her mother was Cinderella, that was not her favorite movie. Neither were any of the others that were about her family. It was Lilo and Stitch. She’s once said that being her great grandfather, Rumple was part of her Ohana. Rumple loved the meaning of the word.  
Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.  
Rumple took Lucy’s mind off her worries about him by suggesting they watch her favorite movie then. As they watched, he wished she could know her great Uncle Gideon, and that Henry could be close with him too. That was unlikely. Gideon was busy with his studies in a realm far away. Perhaps someday though they would be in the same realm.  
Thinking of his family together made his wonder what stories they would tell about him, if any. Again, he wondered how they would feel about him after he was gone. Would they be angry at some point that he wasn’t there to help them? Or would something he’d said or done be a comfort?  
Don't resent me,  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory.  
It had been a long time since he’d prayed, but he silently prayed then to whichever god or goddess would listen to him that the people le loved would remember him kindly, looking back on him and remembering that no matter what else, he had loved them.  
Leave out all the rest.  
Leave out all the rest.  
When the movie was over, Lucy looked at him.  
“Are you sure you’re ok? I worry about you. I know you’re hurting.”  
A father’s instincts kicked in, and he hugged her.  
“Don’t worry about me, Lucy. I’ll be all right.” He couldn’t choose life. Not anymore. But having Lucy helped him survive the pain, and it wasn’t as if he’d never felt pain before.  
Don't be afraid.  
I've taken my beating.  
I've shared what I've made.  
It was high time Rumple called Lucy’s mother to let her know she was safe with him. That was exactly what he did before taking her with him to Ronnie’s. While they talked about the best ways to save Henry from the poison, Rumple hid that he was still thinking of his dream. He was well used to hiding his thoughts and feelings.  
I'm strong on the surface,  
Not all the way through.  
He also had to hide a bit of the jealousy that he was feeling. Once Henry could regain his true memories, he and Regina would be close again. Even if he chose to life, if he continued his immortal existence, Henry would never truly see him as his grandfather. Regina’s crimes could be forgiven, but somehow his couldn’t.  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you.  
Regina gave him a look that told him she knew something was wrong. His former student was the only person who knew what his ultimate goal was, but he wouldn’t speak of it to her in front of Lucy. It would have felt good though, to share the burden with someone.  
So, if you're asking me, I want you to know…  
When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done.  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.  
He wondered for a moment if Regina still blamed him for the path she’d chosen for a time. The choices had truly been her own. He’d taught her magic, and he’d helped her realize Daniel would not be coming back. That was something any mage or witch needed to know, but did she harbor hate towards him at some level for the pain of that knowledge?  
Don't resent me.  
Perhaps, when his end did come at last, he could at least give her one last lesson, that darkness could always find the light. Perhaps that would help assure her of her own lasting redemption. Perhaps his legacy would live on in her too, in what they had shared as teacher and student.  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory.  
The times they’d been at each other’s throats no longer mattered. For his part at least, he’d long ago forgiven the wrongs she’d done him.  
Leave out all the rest.  
Leave out all the rest.


End file.
